Before Husband ever met me (hard to imagine either of us had lives before each other), he frequented a little neighborhood pub. When I say frequented, I do mean frequented. Think "Norm" from Cheers okay? He had his own nickname "Buddha" and he was known for his pool-playing skillz. He made lots of friends there and O'Connor's became his home away from home. Jimmy had created that space and it seemed only right to go and honor his life.
So we went.
I've never been to an Irish Catholic funeral before. I have to say though, despite my crisis of faith at the moment, the funeral seemed so healing. There were pipers and of course, Mass was given. And the priest knew Jimmy. The priest had been to Jimmy's pub. He had sat with Jimmy at the bar. I have been to funerals where the preacher/pastor/priest/whathaveyou didn't know the deceased and didn't really know the family and it seemed so awkward and wrong. But this priest knew Jimmy and he knew what to say about Jimmy and that was so comforting. What he said was how Jimmy supported the Irish cause here and how Jimmy built a space that welcomed everyone. He said how different the pub felt when Jimmy wasn't there. But he also said something that made so much sense and I had not thought of it.
He said we all came together to give thanks a man like Jimmy existed in our lives. He said for each of us, it would mean something different. But we give thanks for Jimmy.
Now this I took in and I thought about my Mama Mary. And I couldn't remember if I ever gave thanks for her...not in the literal sense. I took that moment, as we gave thanks for Jimmy to give thanks a woman like my Mama Mary existed in my life - that she was my Mama Mary. So, this funeral was healing in more ways than I thought it would be. I also gave thanks for the brief friendship I had with Keli and Mindy and how they had touched our lives. I realized how each person leaves their unique fingerprint on our lives.
After the funeral service, there was a reception at the pub. Here, the music played and sung by different people was the eulogy and the drinking was the celebration of Jimmy's life. This part of the farewell was interesting and even more healing to me. It gave people an opportunity to come together and to truly share and show their love for Jimmy. There were tears and laughter and memories spilled out across the pub. Jimmy's pub - where people had made lifelong friends, fallen in love, fallen out of love, celebrated their wedding, celebrated the birth of a child, or came to grieve the loss of a life or relationship or just came to have a beer with good friends. This is Jimmy's immortality. And for that, we are grateful.
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