Yes, Dear.

A lot of the time, I'm reeling in my feelings. I am just trying to be understanding and let shit go. I've always wanted to be the kind of wife who loved and supported her husband in the things he liked to do. Maybe I don't enjoy doing the same things. So sometimes, I grin and bear it. And other times, I urge him to go and do his thing and have fun doing it and I'm fine sitting out the activity.

But truth be told, it seems like most of the things Husband likes to do excludes me for one reason or another. These days, this is perfectly fine with me and I happily send him out the door to get out of my hair. I do have to admit, though, it is a reminder of how much he would rather spend time elsewhere than with us. Is he doing it now to avoid the tension at home? It's possible. But the tension started at home because this was what he was doing.

I don't say anything about it because when all this first started and I did say something about it, he didn't care to hear me out. He heard what he wanted to hear: that I was trying to control him, that I didn't want him to get out and spend time with any of his friends and that I was just being selfish because look how much he does for us!

So, now, I just tell him to go. For the love of God, please! Just go! And even if I'm stuck at home all day and even if I'm the one cleaning the entire house by myself, I just let shit go. Because I know what will happen if I dare to open my mouth. I'll just feel worse after than I did before.

It seems I'm saying a lot lately "it is what it is" and "it's going to be okay." You know, whatever gets me through.