grat-i-tude

grat-i-tude  (noun)  the quality or feeling of being grateful or thankful.

I wanted to stop and think about this word. Every year, around this time, we sit around and we think about what we're thankful for. This year, I wanted to do something a little different. So I thought about some of the times I've felt very grateful.

Like the time Husband and I called his mom to tell her we were knocked up. We weren't even married and we hardly knew each other then. She opened her arms and welcomed me into the family. And when I finally met her and her husband that following Thanksgiving, she literally opened her arms to me. She threw me a baby shower. And people made us blankets and sent us gifts and I didn't even know them. I'd never met them.

After Husband and I got married and everything was messed up and I cried all the time and was completely lost, my mom and dad bought me a plane ticket home for a visit for a week. They'd never seen Morgan and I hadn't been home in over two years. Our relationship was very strained, since they didn't approve of my marriage. But my Dad was man enough to say he was wrong about my husband and wrong to shut me out. And say he was proud of me for being a good mother and assured me my husband would find his way. I was grateful for his kindness and love and strength to heal our relationship.

When I had Jackson, my mother-in-law stayed with Morgan while we were in the hospital. She did my dishes and laundry. My mom and dad came out a week after to also care for Morgan. My dad did my dishes and my mom did my laundry. And they all bought us groceries.

I am grateful every time my husband watches the kids so I can run off and do other things. I am grateful every time he helps calm Jackson in the middle of the night. I am grateful he cooks and sometimes overlooks the mess. I am grateful he is my best friend. I am grateful for a husband who never ceases to surprise me.

I am grateful for that moment when I first saw my babies face-to- face. Those moments that made me realize true love exists in the world. And love at first sight is not something that happens only in fairy tales. Because the first time I laid eyes on my babies, after they arrived from my womb, was the moment when everything in my life just dropped into place. It was those moments when I realized how much love I had within me to give.

I am grateful when I look at my daughter and son. When I watch them play or laugh, I feel contentment in my world. They have taught me so much about the world - so much more than I could have ever imagined. They have helped me believe in magic again...to see the world in their way. It is truly something to be grateful for.

And for all the people I've loved and lost along the way...I am grateful for knowing them. I am grateful they touched my life in some way. I am grateful they helped make me who I am today.

There are so many moments in my life I am grateful for. And they all add up to one big feeling of gratitude. Gratitude for having such a life full of things to be grateful for - for love, laughter, hugs and kiss, fights and make ups and even sorrow and tears. It's nice to sit back and think about it. I have gratitude.