I'm bored of you...

Sometimes I start reflecting on some pretty strange topics. I suppose what I've been thinking lately isn't really strange, per se, but considering I've been married for 8 years, it is.

I've been thinking about the things people say to get out of relationships. And no, before you go there, I am not thinking about getting out of mine. I'm talking about from when I was "out there."

Today it hit me. "Let's just be friends" is such a bullshit thing. The person who says it almost never has any intention of being "friends." To me, a friend is someone I can go to to talk with, laugh with, have a drink with, have a coffee with, spend time with. "Let's just be friends" is the beginning of the Great Disappearing Act.

In general, the person saying "Let's just be friends" isn't interested in the boy or girl they're saying it to anymore. And the newly "let's just be" friended person more than likely still likes the "let's just be" friender. If you like this person, you think "oh friends! great! okay!" Except let's face it...you know it won't happen. But if you're a dummy like me, you sort of like the idea of keeping that person around in one way or another. I like friends. So I'm totally guilty of being "Let's have coffee!" to the person. sigh.

Today it hit me. If the "Let's just be" friender actually said: "I'm bored of you and want nothing to do with you anymore" it would be loads better. Would it be harsh? Yes. Would it hurt? Yes. About like a few punches in the lady region.

But here's the thing. It would be less humiliating. Hear me out. If someone said that to you, it makes them a douche. Which means you can get angry faster. Which means you could probably punch them in the face. And then get over it.

But the whole "let's be friends" thing makes you think they actually want to be friends. Which means you'll call them. And try to carry on conversations. With someone who doesn't want anything to do with you, really. And it's humiliating to try to carry on a conversation with someone who doesn't want to talk to you. It's not necessarily on you, though. I mean, they're the ones who don't have the balls to just end things once and for all. (okay, it's a little bit on you...stop giving people the benefit of the doubt)

It's fake nice. And I hate fake nice. And it hurts more if you're like me and you give the person the benefit of the doubt. Once you've actually figured out they don't want to actually be your friend for real...you've made an ass of yourself how many times? You might even appear to be stalkerish. So then you spend all this time analyzing your every move and feeling pretty damn bad about it. Whereas, if the asshole just had the cojones to say "I'm bored of you and never want to see you again" you can put the hate where it needs to be and move on. (Am I the only one who has gone through this?!)

By the way, if you're one of those "let's just be friends" people, you suck.