Some people, I swear!

I wonder how it's possible there are people in this world who have no understanding of acceptable social behavior. I don't care if you have a penis. I don't care if you're totally dense. Have some fucking class.

My friend Keli passed away on Wednesday, June 3, 2009. She had fought a long and hard battle against a brain tumor. Let me tell y'all, this woman was unbelievable. Her strength and faith were so amazing. She took care of her son only taking time out for her treatments and doctor's appointments. She was always so upbeat. But when she was tired and worn out and not feeling well, she admitted it without shame. Just sort of like "yeah, this sucks but I'll get through it." God was with her every step of the way.

Then she passed away and let me tell you, I know everyone who knew her is heartbroken. I am heartbroken for her husband, Abe. I am heartbroken for her 4 year old son. I know it's cheesy y'all, but that line from Steel Magnolias pops into my head, "How will he ever know how wonderful his mother was?!" I know he will, from the people who surround him who loved Keli too.

And now for the pissed off portion of the program.

In asking a friend of mine if she'd ever ordered funeral flowers (because I'll be honest, I never have), her response was "ya, this store on such and such are awesome. i used them for my wedding and anniversary and tell them I referred you." I guess this was her way of being helpful? So I explained to her that the funeral isn't in town, it's in Texas. The bit that irritated me was "like totally tell them I referred you okay?" Really?! Cause I just asked you about funeral flowers that I'm wanting to order for my dead friend. Last thing on my mind is your name and your referral so you can get a discount sweetcakes. Thank you, drive thru. (oh and I'll be cool once someone informs me that I am totally psycho and a referral doesn't mean a discount for her. Because my understanding is, it does.)

Then I remembered her husband (who happens to be my husband's BFF) had met them a few times cause we hung out with them a lot when they lived in Phoenix. So I was all like "Hey, do you remember Keli and Abe?" And he was like "Sorta." So I told him about Keli's passing and he was all "oh no! what happened!" And I told him how she passed from a brain tumor.

Then he actually says to me "Oh, I just found this group that's been curing cancer since the 1920's! Check it out: www. i'manasshole. com!" Now, I'm not discounting this group's success at curing cancer by treating people with organic apples and whatnot, but really?! I couldn't help myself. I said "well that's helpful. well, I just thought you met them and might have remembered them...." I was trying to fight back the blood boiling in my veins. I was trying to tear myself away from the conversation. Really, I promise I was! I mean, why bring up magical cures for cancer to someone who just lost a friend to that disease? It's like saying...."awww that sucks. if only they'd know about the magical unicorn in the Forest of KnockKnock, it could have saved their lives!"

Then he says "well, I'll just keep passing on the word because someone might need the info."

So I say, because I can't help myself, "I wonder what happens if you eat all organic, all natural all your life and you still get cancer. What happens then?"

And he says: "your dead anyway cause the medical comminuty can't cure you they can only treat you at the expense of killing your body. at least gerson gives you a chance for a cure." uh...wha? I....um....yeah.

I copied and pasted that, by the way. I can never get this man to understand the difference between your and you're. Then he types something about the government and conspiracies and he's a dumb prick or something.

At that point, it's emotional overload. I'd just written a note to Abe about how we'll miss Keli. So I just exploded.

"Well, considering my friend just died. From cancer. That she battled for two years. I think I'll pass on the debates for now." Wishing I could type: you insensitive, know-it-all asshole. But I couldn't because he's husband's BFF and I can't make things awkward for him or I'll have to listen to him piss and moan about it.

Asshat. Really?! Are you fucking kidding me? I just told you about her passing because I thought you might remember them. It's clear she's a faceless nobody to you, you stupid dick. Now, let me go grieve the loss of my friend without your assholish opinions coming up. K? Thanks. Drive thru.

I want to bitch slap someone now.