I saw Eclipse!

I went to see Eclipse with my friends who make me laugh really, really hard.. I was totally the 3rd wheel here, but whatever. Cause there was Jacob.

Bear with me...these are my immediate thoughts right now so they're all cracked out.

WARNING! SPOILERS!

First, I have to say: Jacob wore too many shirts in this movie.

Seriously though, of the 3 films, Eclipse is the best. The acting is a lot better, there's a lot more action, not so much whining and just all around better.

I kind of liked Bella grew up a little and asserted herself more to Edward. The movie was better than the book. Edward isn't so much "I know better than you, simple-minded woman." I mean, he tries, but Bella's more like "whatever suckah!" in the movie than she was in the book.

I really loved Jasper got more of a part in this movie. He's purdy.

I still hate Edward makes Bella's truck undrivable so she can't go see Jacob. That's a bit controlling. And creepy. Girls....this is not love. This is when you get a restraining order. Just sayin'.

I still hate Jacob force-kisses Bella, but love that Bella punches him in the face. That was cool.

I still hate that Rosalie's all BAAAAAAYYYYYYYBBBIIIIEEEESSSS and MAWWWWIIIIGGGGEEE (marriage) completes you! it's going to get worse in Breaking Dawn. But the Vengeful Vampire in a Wedding Dress making asshole cower in the corner thing? Totally awesome!

And look, I just read Breaking Dawn will be two movies and I don't even know how to express how stupid I think that is. Breaking Dawn sucked. Please find a way to make it better. Also, also.....Hey Twilight! You're not Harry Potter!

The big battle at the end was hella cool, okay? Alice was so flippin' cool when she did that flying thing over one of the wolves. Also, kind of like how the vamps were being shattered all over the place.

OH! OH! Then there was the premarital dry humping scene. It.was.hilarious. The whole theater got all antsy and I really did hope Edward was gonna do Bella and make her a whore. But....no such luck. Oh well.

I loved at the end when Bella told Edward she chose the life she wanted for herself. You know, kind of asserting herself as herself and not as Edward's woman.

Highlights of the movie for me did not include the characters, plot or quotes. The highlights for me was the snarky commentary between me and my friends. Yes, we're those people. Rosalie pouts: "Why is Shakira mad?" Victoria's boy toy comes on the screen: "Hey look! It's Justin Beiber!" Jacob says to Bella: "I know how I make you feel." "Yeah, you make me feel funny in the pants." Jacob's wearing a shirt: "Why is he wearing a shirt?" "Hey maybe Jacob could become a vampire too and then he'd be like a wolf and a vampire. He'd be a wolfpire."

I had a great night with some great friends and Eclipse didn't suck!