On Growing Up Child-like

As a parent, I've learned a great many things. That's the point. As a parent, you are constantly learning. You are forever adapting to new concepts and adapting to the tiny humans you produced. You grow up as your children grow up.

The most revealing thing I've learned as a parent is: my parents didn't hate me. It wasn't that my parents were "outdated" or uncool. It wasn't that my parents were completely clueless. My parents put forth rules because they loved me. My parents told me things I hated and I thought "I will never be like that with my kids!" And now as I hear myself having some of the same conversations with my kid, I understand why it is they told me those things. I have epiphanies almost every day. (Sometimes those epiphanies are about what not to do as a parent, thanks to them)

Now that I look back, my parents were actually pretty cool parents. Strict, yes. And sometimes not the best parents in the world. But they were cool. They still are. I wish I realized that when I was younger so I could have enjoyed them more in childhood. Since I can't go back and do that, I really enjoy them now.

My mom used to tell me: "I am not your friend. I have adult friends. I am your mother." I thought she was such a bitch for saying that, but now I get it. Once I grew up, got married and had my own kids, something amazing happened. My mom became my friend. My mom is one of my best friends. I love that and appreciate now why she wasn't my friend when I was a child. I didn't need a friend. I needed a mom.

 My dad....well, I think I'm always gonna be Daddy's Little Girl.

I didn't have the easiest, prettiest, greatest childhood. It was full of a lot of bad shit. No kid should ever go through the things my sister, brother and I went through. (Mostly because of our drug addict/alcoholic biological mom - but that's another post for another day) But you know what? I survived it. I'm still surviving it. A lot of that has to do with me....but it also has to do with my parents and the lessons they taught me.

The coolest thing about my parents is their love for music - any and all kinds. The one childhood memory I have that I feel warm and fuzzies over is the Saturday nights my parents broke out all their 45's. Between them, they have hundreds. They played all kinds of music from Chuck Berry to the Beatles to the Beach Boys to the Doors and Pink Floyd (thanks, Dad!) to any and every Motown group. I mean, if you can think of it, my parents probably have it. It is because of this, all of us have pretty extensive music collections. And the funny thing is, my Mom was discussing my youngest brother's music collection and how eclectic and massive it is. She said "It's so funny. I mean, where did he even pick this up?" I had to explain to her it's because of her and Dad all of us have varied tastes. She and my Dad had passed something down to us. That's their immortality.

I know this post is all over the place, but so is my relationship with my family. I may not have always appreciated the things my parents have said and done and some of it may have been wrong on their part. But they are, after all, human. They are not perfect. They make mistakes. The thing is, having my own kids has really helped heal my relationship with my parents. And that's something worth learning.

So, here's to my mom and dad and all they tried to do for us and all they accomplished.

Mom and Dad rock on